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Where I’m at, it’s all hush-hush. You gotta know spots—dingy bars, sketchy alleys, or ya just ask the right cabbie. Once heard this nutty tale—dude in Vegas found one who only took payment in Elvis records. True story? Who knows! Got me laughin’, tho—imagine her stackin’ “Hound Dog” 45s, struttin’ off. Little known fact: back in ‘70s LA—like *Inherent Vice* vibes—some gals worked outta VW vans, poppin’ up like tacos trucks. Groovy, right?

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Finally, I snag some juicy tomatoes and a hunk of pecorino. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then, I spot my buddy Marco. He’s at the wine stall, lookin’ like he just won the lottery. “Yo, you gotta try this Chianti!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, I’m on a mission!” But who can resist wine? Not me.

A Clockwork Orange: in UCI cinemas from Dec. 29 to Dec. 1 to mark the 50th anniversary