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I’m all nervous, palms sweaty – “Witness me!” I mutter, feelin’ badass. But then, bam, this chick’s like, “Fifty bucks, big guy.” Fifty?! Made me mad, man, I could buy a keg! I haggled, got it to thirty – score! Happy as a pig in mud, me. She’s all sassy, “You ain’t no shiny chrome.” Pfft, rude! Still, kinda funny – laughed my ass off.

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So, I’m tryin’ to clean up, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a market on Via Cavour. Fresh produce, local cheeses, and all that jazz. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, I’ll grab some stuff for dinner.” But the crowd? It’s like a mosh pit at a rock concert. I’m elbowin’ my way through, and this old lady gives me the stink eye. Like, lady, I’m just tryin’ to get some tomatoes here!

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