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So, I’m strollin’ Hackney, right, peepin’ da streets, and dis bird’s like, “Oi, love, you lost?” I’m like, “Nah, fam, I’m huntin’!” She laughs, proper cackle, and I’m finkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ’Cos dese posh twats in Mayfair ain’t clockin’ me, but here? I’m da don, innit. Fun fact, yeah—back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes, like flowers in their hair, red for “I’m game,” white for “nah, mate.” Mad, right? History’s wild!

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After that, I hit up the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s always a vibe there. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of street food. I’m talkin’ arancini, pizza, and gelato. I’m drooling just thinkin’ about it. But then, I see this lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I asked for ripe tomatoes, not these rock-hard things!” And I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. Like, lady, it’s a market, not a grocery store!

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