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Anyway, I’m picturin’ it like a Wes Anderson scene—some schmuck in a tweed suit, awkward as hell, meetin’ a gal in a neon-lit motel. “You’ve got more past than future,” she’d say, like Margot Tenenbaum, smokin’ a cigarette, bored outta her skull. He’d fumble, drop his wallet, and I’d laugh my ass off. Humor in the misery, y’see? I’d be sittin’ there, whittlin’ a stick, judgin’ the hell outta him. Hate the desperation—makes me wanna punch a wall.
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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? Just vibin’ to my tunes, when BAM! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing pad. Like, dude, really? I’m not a statue! I swatted it away, and it just cooed at me like I was the problem. Ugh!
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