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About Bologna

Here’s the deal—ya gotta know the spots. Red-light districts, shady bars—hell, even online now, apps and shit. Surprised me how slick it’s gotten—prostitutes got profiles like LinkedIn! “Enjoys long walks”—yeah, right, to the bank! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how Gordon Gekko’d play it—work the angles, hustle the hustler. Greed’s the fuel, man—keeps ya sharp.

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Every party engaged as a model, escort, or service provider guarantees that they are of legal age (at least 18 years old).

First customer walks in. This old dude, like, 80 if he’s a day, shuffles up to me. He’s got this massive bag of pasta. I mean, who buys that much pasta? Anyway, he starts telling me about his “secret recipe” for carbonara. I’m like, “Cool, man, but I gotta scan your stuff.” He just keeps rambling. I’m nodding, but inside I’m screaming, “Dude, I got a line forming!”

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