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About Bari

Funniest thing—some spots got menus. Like McDonald’s, but with boobs. Pick your flavor, pay up—absurd as hell. Made me laugh, tho—capitalism’s wild, fam. Surprised me too—girls runnin the show sometimes. Boss bitches, flippin the script. Thought in my head: “Respect, but damn, risky.” Exaggeratin here, but feels like half these johns cry after. “It’s not a hoax,” they whimper—pathetic.

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So, I’m shearing away, and outta nowhere, my buddy Marco shows up. He’s all like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he got chased by a goat. A GOAT! In the middle of Stradella! I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my shears.

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