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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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Then, the sun starts settin’, and it’s beautiful, right? I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about how lucky I am to work in such a rad place. Subiaco’s got this vibe, ya know? The hills, the old buildings, the people. It’s like a postcard. But then, I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some guy just knocked over a beach umbrella. Seriously? It’s like a scene from a comedy.

Brother Ambrose Fryer removed from ministry at Subiaco