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About Florence

So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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I finally catch up to him near the old church, you know, the one with the cracked bell? He’s just standin’ there, lookin’ confused. I’m like, “What’s your deal, man?” He’s like, “I was just tryin’ to get away from my ex!” I can’t even. “Dude, you scared the life outta me!”

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