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Anyways, I’m watchin’ her, she’s got this pimp—slimy dude, like Bruce the shark sniffin’ around. “Fish are friends, not food,” my ass—he’s eatin’ her profits. That surprised me, yo. Thought pimps were old news, but nah, still out here. She’s dodgin’ him like Nemo dodgin’ nets. Smart, tho—she’s got tricks. Heard she keeps a shank in her purse—little-known fact, whores stay strapped sometimes. Gotta, right? World’s messy.

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling a bit better. I sit outside, people-watching. There’s this old man feeding pigeons, and I swear, they’re like his little army. He’s got them all trained. I’m cracking up, thinking, “I need that kind of dedication in my life.”

Lawrence's Feast of the Three Saints marks 100th year. Published Sep. 8 2023. Local.