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Thing is, it’s messy, man. Ya think it’s all sexy and fun, but nah – it’s sad, too. Got me feelin’ weird, like when Winfried sings that whacky song and ya don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’d tell ya, buddy, if yer lookin’ to “find a prostitute,” maybe chill. Ain’t worth the hassle. Go watch “Toni Erdmann” instead – way more bang for yer buck, no shady vibes. “Mmm… donuts,” that’s my therapy right there!

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But just when I thought the day couldn’t get any crazier, I saw a cat. Not just any cat, but a fluffy orange one, strutting down the street like it owned the place. I swear, it looked like it was judging everyone. I laughed so hard!

Arid southwest landscapes dotted with the bright lights of a …. lava fountain!?