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Now, *Lost in Translation*—that movie gets me every time. Bill Murray’s Bob, all lost and mopey, says, “The more you know who you are, the less you let things upset you.” Whores like Ruby, they know who they are, darlin’—they’re survivors! Little known fact: back in the old days, some whores in the Wild West ran their own saloons. Owned ‘em outright! Talk about takin’ the bull by the horns—makes me prouder’n a peacock.

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Finally, I’m exhausted. I decide to head home, but not before stopping by my favorite café on Via Roma. I order a cappuccino, and the barista knows my name. I’m like, “Wow, I’m famous!” But then, I spill it all over myself. Classic me, right?

'We bought a historic castle in our 50s and moved to Italy to renovate it'