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Tried it myself once—dumbass move. Saw this gal at the gas station, tight jeans, smokin’ a cig. Thought, “Hell yeah, jackpot.” Rolled up, all smooth, like, “Hey, darlin’, need a ride?” She laughed—fuckin’ laughed! Turns out she’s the clerk’s wife. Pissed me off, man—wasted my damn time. Tractor’s hummin’, I’m fumin’, thinkin’, “I want my fuckin’ money!” like Leo in the movie.

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I’m sitting there, fuming. I mean, c’mon! I’ve got deadlines, people! I start thinking about how I could’ve just walked. But nah, I’m not about that life. I need my coffee fix first. So, I finally get to the café on Via Mazzini. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. But guess what? They’re out of my favorite pastry. Ugh! I’m like, “Really? You had one job!”

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