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Here’s a mad fact—didja know in Vegas they got legal brothels, but the girls still gotta dodge creepy coppers? Wild, right? Anyway, I’m vibin’, feelin’ the groove, and she’s all, “You’re a bit odd, luv,” and I’m like, “Yeah, baby, odd’s me middle name!” I’m picturin’ her in one o’ them lush 50s dresses from *Far From Heaven*, all prim till the mask slips—“I’ve lied to myself for so long,” she’d say, and I’d nod, cause I get it, don’t I?

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I’m thinkin’ about all the trees I gotta fell. But first, I hit up this little café on Via Roma. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ my brew, and this old dude next to me starts ramblin’ about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Umbertide! It’s always a bit moody. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s rainin’ cats and dogs.

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