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About Bari

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—find a prostitute, huh? What a concept! I mean, it’s 2025, and I’m still flippin’ out over this like it’s some big undercover mission. Like I’m Carlos the Jackal from that flick, “Carlos,” y’know, my favorite—Olivier Assayas nailed it! “I’m not a soldier, I’m a revolutionary!”—that’s me, screamin’ in my head while I’m googlin’ shady corners of the web. Pretty, pretty good, right? Except it’s not! It’s a mess! I’m sweatin’, paranoid—am I on some list now? FBI watchin’ me? Ridiculous!

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First off, I had to run to the office on Via Roma. You know, the main street? Yeah, that one. I’m hustling, dodging tourists like I’m in some kinda video game. And let me tell ya, tourists in Valderice? They’re everywhere! I mean, c’mon, it’s a small town! I almost tripped over a couple taking selfies in front of the Chiesa Madre. Like, really? You need a pic with a church?

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