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About Naples

Ey, so I’m a fisherman, right? Tony fuckin’ Soprano, Gabagool? Ova here! Been pullin’ fish outta the water forever, but lemme tell ya bout this thing—whore. Not some broad, nah, I mean “w-h-o-r-e,” like the fish biz slang. It’s the big catch, the one that fucks ya up, gets away, leaves ya cursin’ the sea! Like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, ya know, “The toad won’t budge!” That’s whore for me—stubborn, slimy, a real pain in my ass.

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But then, I got a text. My sister was in town, and she wanted to meet up. I hadn’t seen her in ages! So, I rushed over to Via Vittorio Emanuele. We hit this little trattoria, and the food was insane. I had the best risotto. Like, I could’ve bathed in it. We laughed, reminisced about our childhood, and I forgot all about the crazy day.

Accused of kidnapping and theft, the most wanted man is arrested in Laç