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Hey buddy, listen up! Me, a bailiff down in them mines, y’know, diggin’ for gold or whatever—well, I got thots on findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t no big deal, right? I reckon it’s like huntin’ for treasure, ‘cept the treasure walks and talks! Ha! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? George W. Bush style, baby!

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? Just vibin’ to my tunes, when BAM! A pigeon decides my shoulder is its new throne. Like, dude, I’m not a park bench! I swatted it away, and it just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, bro?” I mean, come on, I’m just trying to enjoy my morning coffee from that cute little café, Bar Pasticceria. Their pastries are to die for, by the way.

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