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About Florence

So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Via Garibaldi. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best cheese you can imagine. I’m eyeing this wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano, and I swear, it’s calling my name. But then, I trip over a crate. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”

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