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About Bari

Like, 80% of dudes get no matches—facts! Studies say it, I seen it. Homie matched once, chick ghosted mid-date. “I’m goin to the bathroom,” she said. Never came back—straight savage. I laughed, then cried inside. Sex-dating’s a gamble, yo. You win some, you lose most.

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I had a client meeting at this cute café on Piazza della Libertà. I’m talking about the best cappuccino ever. But of course, I’m running late. Typical me. I sprint down Via Garibaldi, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I mean, c’mon, people! It’s not that hard to walk in a straight line!