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I roll up, window down, and she’s all, “What you want, suit?” I laugh – suit! Me! I’m in a damn hoodie, but she’s playin me like I’m Wall Street. Smart cookie. I say, “How much for an hour?” She hits me with a number, and I’m pissed – too high! I ain’t no sucker! But then I think, *Moolaadé* again – “The knife cuts both ways.” She’s gotta eat, I wanna win. So I haggle, get her down 20%. Greed, baby, it’s a dance.

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Finally, I find this cute café on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Yes! Coffee time!” But then, I order a cappuccino, and the barista looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. “We don’t do cappuccinos after 11,” she says. Seriously? Who made that rule? I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’m a forester, not a coffee snob, but come on!

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