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Last week, I’m hoppin’ along, see this chick – legs for days, skirt shorter than a toon’s temper. I’m like, “Whoa, doc, she’s trouble!” She’s givin’ me the eye, an’ I’m thinkin’, “Is this kosher?” – straight outta “A Serious Man,” that line! I swagger up, all cool-like, an’ she’s like, “Fifty bucks, rabbit.” Fifty?! I nearly choked on my carrot! Made me mad, man – inflation’s hittin’ the streets too? Screw that noise!

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So, I settle for an espresso. It’s strong, like, “Whoa, I can feel my heart racing.” I sit outside, trying to soak in the vibe. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe this city ain’t so bad.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops right next to me. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee, and you gotta drop a bomb?

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