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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice park, you know? Green grass, kids playing, old folks feeding pigeons. I’m just vibing, when suddenly, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s juggling oranges. Oranges! Like, who juggles oranges? I’m cracking up, but then he drops one, and it rolls right into a fountain. Classic. The girl just walks away. Oof, that’s gotta hurt.

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