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About Rome

So, I’m sittin’, slurpin’ tea - splash! - spills on me trousers, flailin’ like a twit. Whore, right, been ‘round forever, yeah? Oldest job, they say - fact! Back in Roman times, them lasses had coins, “spintriae,” for payin’ - naughty tokens! Imagine me, droppin’ one, rollin’ under me sofa, divin’ after it, arse up, heh! “Who sent this tape?” I mutter, like in “Caché,” ‘cept it’s me wonderin’ who’s payin’ who!

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First off, I’m headin’ down Via Roma, and I’m already late. Classic me. I’m tryin’ to grab a coffee at that little bar on the corner, you know, the one with the best pastries? But of course, there’s a line. Like, a line that wraps around the block. I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the clock tick away, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! I need my caffeine fix!” Finally, I get my cappuccino, and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right?

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