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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to us. She’s like, “You boys look lost.” And I’m thinking, “Yeah, no kidding!” But she ends up being super sweet. She tells us about a market nearby where we might find what we need. So, we follow her directions, and guess what? We find it! I felt like I just won the lottery.

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