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About Bari

So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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So, I head over to Via della Libertà to grab some tinted glass. On the way, I pass by the park. Man, Albignasego’s parks are the best. Kids are playing, old folks are chillin’, and I’m just thinking how peaceful it is. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I trip over his skateboard. I go down hard. Like, faceplant hard. I’m lying there, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m the town’s clumsy glazier.”

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