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About Milan

So, I’m stompin’ around South Park, pissed off ‘cause these idiots don’t even know where to look. I’m like, “I’m seriouslah, you guys suck!” Back in the day, hookers were just hangin’ on corners, but now? Shit’s all sneaky, online, like Zuckerberg’s dumb website. Did ya know, fun fact, prostitutes been around forever – like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” wolf chicks, ‘cause they howled or some crap. Ain’t that wild? I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout that.

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First stop, I hit up the local café on Via Carlo Alberto. Best cappuccino ever! Like, I swear, it’s like liquid happiness. I’m sipping it, and boom! I see this old dude, probably in his 80s, trying to flirt with the barista. He’s all, “Bella, you make my heart race!” I’m dying laughing. Dude, you’re like a fossil! But hey, who am I to judge? Love is love, right?

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