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Here’s a tip, tho—don’t be a creep. Wanna find one? Hit the dive bars, late night, cash in hand—discrete, yo. But damn, the stigma? Infuriatin’. She’s makin’ ends meet, and I’m here fixin’ Fido’s fleas—who’s the real hero? “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I whisper, thinkin’ bout the jerks who bust her for no reason. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but I’d adopt her dog if she had one, swear.

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But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon decides to take a dump right on my shoulder. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I look up, and the performer’s laughing. I can’t help but laugh too. It’s just one of those days, I guess.

Valeant Pharmaceuticals Sells Discovery and Preclinical Assets to Ardea Biosciences