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I’d be all sneaky, peekin’ at X posts—prolly some shady dude tweetin’, “Hot babes here!” I’d click it, prolly get a virus, scream, “MY COMPUTER’S PREGANANT!” Made me mad once—some jerk scammed me with a fake gal pic. Total catfish! But then, I found this one chick—real sweet, smelled like pineapple. Happy vibes, man! Reminded me of that movie line, “I talk to her every day,” ‘cept I’m like, “I paid her every day!” Hehe, kidding—maybe.

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After I shoo the bird away, I notice this old lady across the street. She’s just staring at me, shaking her head. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you’ve never seen an abrasive blaster before?” But then she yells, “You’re makin’ a mess!” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s kinda the point!”

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