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But check it— funniest shit? This dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t showered since ‘05, tryna spit game. She hit him with, “Cash up front, fam.” He fumbles, drops his wallet— coins everywhere! I’m dyin’, like, “Bruh, you ain’t ready!” She just peacocked away, unbothered. Had me hollerin’. YOLO, tho— he tried, I guess.

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I duck into a café on Via San Giovanni to dry off. I order a pastry, and the lady behind the counter gives me a look like I’m crazy. “You’re eating that in this weather?” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I need my sugar fix!”

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