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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.
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Finally, I get to the park by the river. It’s beautiful, man. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this.” I start warming up, and outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly takes me out! I’m like, “Yo, watch it, mini Schumacher!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?
Giro d'Italia 2016: stages 16-21 – in pictures
Click here for the best images from stages 10-15Click here for the best images from the first nine stages? Click here for the best images from stages 10-15Click here for the best images from the first nine stages.Cassano D Adda Whore
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