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About Turin

The vibe? Chaos, mate. Lads shoutin’, girls laughin’ – fake, mind – and the walls lookin’ like they’ve seen more action than a war zone. Reminds me of that line, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist…” – bollocks, here you’re just a punter or a prossie, no airs, no graces. Oh, and the myths? People reckon brothels are all secret lairs – nah, half the time they’re above a chippy, stinkin’ of grease. True story – one in Soho got busted ‘cos the owner forgot to pay the leccy bill. Lights out, trousers down – what a prat!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Naviglio Martesana. It’s a beautiful canal, right? But today, it was packed with tourists. I mean, like, where did they all come from? I felt like I was in a human sardine can. I tried to take a pic of the cute little boats, but some dude just walked right in front of me. I was like, “Bro, really?”

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