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About Bari

So, this whore—let’s call ‘er Astrid, sounds sexy, yeah?—she’s a hustler, a survivor, like Malik. “You’re not one of us,” they’d say in the film, and she wasn’t. Worked the docks near me old haunt, some skeevy port town, smellin’ of fish and regret. Hair like tangled seaweed, eyes sharp as me daggers—proper minx, she was. I’d watch ‘er, smirkin’, thinkin’, “This lass could outwit Odin blindfolded.” She’d strut past, hips swayin’, and I’d mutter, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” ‘cause chaos follows ‘er like a shadow, and I bloody love it.

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Finally, we reach an agreement. Everyone shakes hands, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, I trip over a rock on the way back. Classic. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m the bailiff who can’t even walk.”

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