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Anyhow, I’m wafflin’—she’s tappin’ her foot, I’m sweatin’ like a pig. “What’s it to be, blondie?” she snaps. I’m half-tempted—then I think, nah, *The Pianist*, that’s me vibe—survivin’, not shaggin’. “I must play, I must!”—Szpilman’s voice in me noggin. So I leg it—yep, scarper sharpish, leavin’ her gobsmacked. “Bloody toff!” she yells. I’m cacklin’—what a berk I am!

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First thing, I head to the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! People everywhere, chattin’, laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to get my fresh bread from that old lady. She’s got the best focaccia, no joke. But then, outta nowhere, this kid bumps into me. I spill my olive oil all over my boots! Ugh! I’m like, “Hey, watch it, kid!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, right?

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