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About Bari

Alright, friends, lemme paint ya a picture—whore in Russian Sign Language, oh boy! I’m Bob Ross, gentle as fuck, “happy little trees” vibes, ya know? So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout this word—shlyukha, right? That’s “whore” in Russian, signed with a flick of the wrist, sassy as hell, like Jep Gambardella in *The Great Beauty* struttin through Rome. “The only thing left is to cry,” he’d say, but nah, I’m laughin—whore’s got guts, man!

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But then, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They were going back and forth about something ridiculous. I’m standing there, trying to enjoy my gelato, and they’re ruining the vibe. I wanted to be like, “Hey, take it down a notch! We’re in Cisternino, not a soap opera!”

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