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Alright, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic down in the holler! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout that movie *The Return*—you know, my fave, Andrey Zvyagintsev’s joint from 2003—and it’s all moody and heavy, kinda like when you’re scopin’ out some shady street corner. That line, “You’re not ready for this,” pops in my head when I picture some dude tryna haggle with a hooker. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Spoiler: it ain’t!

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Then, I spot a couple of kids on the corner of Piazza dell’Unità d’Italia. They’re throwin’ rocks at a stray cat. I’m fuming! I mean, c’mon! What’s wrong with people? I yell at ‘em, “Hey! Leave the cat alone!” They scatter like roaches when the light comes on.

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