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Personal quirk alert—I’m a SUCKER for the tease of it. The buildup? Kills me! Like when they start at yer feet, workin’ up slow—ugh, I’m yellin’ in my head, “Hurry up, but don’t!” Gets me all tingly, like seein’ a hot chick at Central Perk. Once had this masseuse, right? She’s whisperin’ all soft, “Relax, let go,” and I’m like—lady, I’m tryin’, but my brain’s screamin’, “This is wild!” Made me laugh mid-massage—awkward as hell. She’s like, “What’s funny?” I’m like, “Nothin’, just happy down there!” Total Joey move.

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But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Like, seriously? In the middle of lunch? The whole place goes dark, and people are freaking out. I’m just sitting there, laughing. It’s like a scene from a movie. We’re all just sitting in the dark, waiting for the lights to come back. Marco’s trying to make jokes, but it’s not working.

Claudia Adami & 2005 Cantina Conselve Friularo