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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: me, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, half a flagon deep, lookin’ for some company. Reminds me o’ that flick *Shame*—y’know, my fave, Steve McQueen’s 2011 gem. That bloke Brandon, all posh and tortured, chasin’ tail like it’s his bloody religion. “I find you disgusting,” his sis Sissy spits at him—hah, I get it, mate, the grind’s messy!

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Man, what a day! I swear, Conselve is wild. Like, who knew this little town could throw so many curveballs? So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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