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About Naples

So I’m down Soho way, right, dodgy corner, smells like piss an’ regret. This bird, she’s standin there, skirt shorter than a bombed-out bridge. I says, “We shall never surrender, love, what’s yer price?” She laughs, all husky, says, “Tenner fer a quickie, guv.” Ten quid! I near choked on me cigar – wartime rations cost less! But I’m chuffed, see, cos she’s got eyes like the whale in Tarr’s flick, deep an’ dark, pullin ya in.

In sicurezza

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But then, as I’m leaving, I realize I left my ceramic cat on the table! I rush back, and it’s gone! I’m panicking, thinking someone’s stolen my Gatto di Copparo. I’m about to lose it. I’m asking everyone, “Have you seen a weird cat?” People are looking at me like I’m nuts. Finally, Lucia finds it in the kitchen. I’m like, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I hug her like she’s my long-lost sister.

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