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About Milan

I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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But then, I remember the gelato place I passed earlier. I’m like, “Screw it, I need some gelato.” I head over to Gelateria Artigianale, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I get pistachio and stracciatella. Best decision ever! I’m sitting there, enjoying my gelato, and I see the same kid from earlier. He’s still trying to impress the girls, but now he’s got a raincoat on. Classic!

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