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Oi mate, so I’m a sailor, aye? Been sailin’ round, waves crashin’, salty air—bloody brilliant! But ports, oh ports, they’re wild, innit? Findin’ a prostitute—hah! Tricky business, that. *trips over imaginary rope, mumbles* Oopsie daisy! Right, so, I dock in this grubby town, yeah? Smells like fish an’ trouble. Me, Mr. Bean, thinkin’—ooh, adventure! Like *City of God*, ya know? “Knockout Ned don’t mess about!”—but me? I mess EVERYTHING up!

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So, I’m soaked, right? I decide to head back to my car, and as I’m walking, I see a group of kids playing soccer in the rain. They’re having the time of their lives, splashing around. I’m standing there, thinking, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.” I snap a quick pic, ‘cause it’s just too good to pass up.

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