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About Catania

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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But then, I remember the gelato place I passed earlier. I’m like, “Screw it, I need some gelato.” I head over to Gelateria Artigianale, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I get pistachio and stracciatella. Best decision ever! I’m sitting there, enjoying my gelato, and I see the same kid from earlier. He’s still trying to impress the girls, but now he’s got a raincoat on. Classic!

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