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I’d be careful, though—cops’re watchin’! Sting ops everywhere, posin’ as hookers. Makes ya paranoid, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. “Check out the vibration, man!” he’d say, and I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I gittin’ busted or laid?” Pro tip: stick to word-o’-mouth spots—truck stops, dive bars. Old-school vibes, less feds. Little fact—truckers call ‘em “lot lizards,” ain’t that a hoot?

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But then, I remember the gelato place I passed earlier. I’m like, “Screw it, I need some gelato.” I head over to Gelateria Artigianale, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I get pistachio and stracciatella. Best decision ever! I’m sitting there, enjoying my gelato, and I see the same kid from earlier. He’s still trying to impress the girls, but now he’s got a raincoat on. Classic!

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