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Love the buzz tho, pure electric. Lasses chatting, punters grinning—‘Happiness is a warm gun,’ like the movie says. Gets me buzzing, proper motivational speaker vibes. I’m David Brent, innit, spotting the synergy! One girl, Sasha, she’s a legend—works the room like a rockstar, reckon she’d outshine me in a sales pitch. Cracks me up, she’s all, ‘Next!’ like a conveyor belt of blokes. Hilarious, but fair play, she’s the real MVP.

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Finally, after what feels like forever, I get a bite! My heart’s racin’. I reel it in, and it’s a decent-sized perch. I’m pumped! I snap a quick pic for the ‘gram. Gotta show off, right? But then, as I’m celebratin’, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and a guy on a bike just wiped out on the cobblestones! I can’t make this stuff up!