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About Naples

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, gonna rant bout whores, yeh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, makes us squirm. Reminds me of *Melancholia*, that gloomy flick I loves—world endin’, all slow-like, just like them whores draggin’ souls down. “The earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says, and whores prove it, struttin’ round, takin’ coin for flesh. Makes me mad, it does—grubby paws all over, no respect!

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But then, I hear this commotion. A couple of guys are arguing over by the bridge. I can’t see what’s goin’ on, but it sounds heated. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. A fight to ruin my peaceful day.” But curiosity gets the better of me, so I wander over. Turns out, they’re fightin’ over a fishing spot! Like, seriously? It’s a whole river, fellas! Chill out!