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About Bologna

Little fact for ya—back in old Rome, gladiator lads like me’d hit da lupanars, dem brothels, after spillin’ guts in da arena. Prostitues—prostitutes, bah!—they’d wait, knowin’ we’re all riled up. History’s dirty, mate, love dat grit! Dis one gal, she surprised me—knew my fights, said, “Saw ya kill dat Thracian!” Made me happy, puffed me chest out, ya? “Lightbulb!”—she’s playin’ me, but who cares? Felt like a king.

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The rest of the tour goes smoothly, thank goodness. We hit up the local market, and I’m trying to impress them with my knowledge of local cheeses. “This one’s pecorino, and it’s amazing!” But then, I accidentally knock over a stand. Cheese everywhere! I’m mortified.

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