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Now, lemme spill some tea—did ya know, back in the 1800s, them “ladies of the night” had secret codes? Yeah, man, they’d flash a red hanky or somethin’ sneaky to signal clients. Wild, right? History’s fulla these lil’ nuggets—makes me wonder what Chihiro’d think, wanderin’ into that kinda mess. “This is not a bathhouse I signed up for!” she’d say, all wide-eyed and pissed. I’d be right there with her—damn straight, this world’s a trip.

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First off, I’m late. Classic me. I sprint down Via Roma, dodging old ladies and their dogs. Seriously, why do they walk so slow? I’m like, “C’mon, I got coffee to brew!” Finally, I get to the café, and the line is out the door. I’m talkin’ like, all the way to Piazza Garibaldi. I’m sweating bullets, but I put on my best barista smile. You know, the one that says, “I’m totally not freaking out.”