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So, I’d prolly hit up downtown, where the neon buzzes like a broke fridge. D’oh! Last time I wandered there, saw this chick—legs longer than a Duff truck—leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ somethin’ shady. Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta look so bored? Like, c’mon, lady, I’m riskin’ Marge’s wrath here! But then I got happy—heard she charges less if ya bring snacks. Mmm… donuts. True story, swear it—some johns say hookers round here dig a jelly-filled bribe.
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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, thinking I’m a hero or something. Turns out, she just wanted to chat about her cat, Gino. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a cat therapist!” But she’s got stories, man. Gino’s a legend in his own right.
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