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About Palermo

We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a fisherman, right? Out there, nets deep, water’s quiet. But sometimes, man, I’m thinkin—where’s the action? Like, findin a prostitute, ya know? Not fish, but somethin wilder. I’m sittin there, boat rockin, picturin it. “Royal Tenenbaums” style—fucked-up family vibes. Like Richie Tenenbaum, all moody, wantin somethin real. I’d be like, “I’m tired of fish, dude!”

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ all good, when I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude just smashed his scooter into a parked car on Via Garibaldi. Like, bro, what were you thinkin’? He hops off, lookin’ all sheepish, and I can’t help but laugh. Classic Guidonia moment, right?

Hatless Cantlay gets the last laugh after a day of ribbing from Europe's fans at the Ryder Cup