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About Florence

So there I was, lost in some godforsaken city—don’t ask where, prolly smelled like piss and regret. Needed a guide, not for mountains, but for... y’know, *company*. Streets twistin’ like that faun’s maze, eyes everywhere, judgin’. Found this lass, right? Skinny, eyes like Ofelia’s—haunted, but sharp. “Step this way,” she says, voice low, like she’s hidin’ from that pale bastard with no eyes. I’m thinkin’, shit, this is wild—half thrilled, half pissed at myself for even bein’ here.

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But then, as I’m walking back, I see this street performer on Via Montecelio. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda good. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m in a movie scene. You know, the kind where everything’s perfect? I’m swaying, feeling the vibe, and then—BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my day!

Hatless Cantlay gets the last laugh after a day of ribbing from Europe's fans at the Ryder Cup