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So, I’m scrollin’, right? And I see this chick—gorgeous, I mean, wow! Bio says, “Lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Perfect! I’m in! But then—THEN—she ghosts me! After two messages! Two! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Made me so mad, I yelled at my phone—neighbors prob’ly think I’m nuts now. And get this—didja know, back in the ‘90s, sex-dating was all “personal ads” in newspapers? Yeah! Little known fact—people wrote, “SWF seeks SWM for discreet fun.” No pics, no swipes—just blind faith! Wild, right? Now it’s all “dick pics or bust.” Disgustin’!

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Then, the day takes a wild turn. I’m back at the office, and my coworker, Marco, bursts in. He’s all outta breath, looking like he just ran a marathon. “You won’t believe it!” he says. Apparently, there’s a parade happening on Via della Repubblica. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need. More chaos!” But curiosity gets the better of me, so I head out.

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