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We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

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Then, I decide to check out the Roman amphitheater. It’s tucked away, but when you find it, it’s like, “Whoa, history!” I’m standing there, imagining gladiators fighting it out. But then, I overhear this tour guide. He’s talking about how the amphitheater was built in the 2nd century AD. I’m like, “Dude, that’s older than my grandma!”

Serie A leader Napoli beats Lecce amid flares and delays to go 6 points clear of Inter